When, you finally settled with the idea that you will truly love the person. That your commitment will be sealed with love, respect and trust. Then, you suddenly wake up. Everything you dreamed of; came into dust.
When, you thought that everything is fine and that each moment when your with him feels right. As you turn around, you see your own shadow, standing alone in the dark.When,loneliness and despair strikes me for the fifth time. My body just lay on the floor, too weak to stand, too sad to drink, too hopeless to feel the sunlight.I just wanna cuddle my pillow and hug my blanket so tight. Cried all day and night,weeping with tears, if my decision is right. Did I failed to let him know how much I loved him or too arrogant to express all his mistakes.
Misery overflows my system. It emanates my body that weakens, illness takes place. Coldness of the skin, pain in my chest,watery & boggy eyes and cramping legs occurs at the same time. I wish, I'll stay in my bed. To somber the pain I have.
Bo Sanchez speaks to his books "Finding one True Love" That you cannot give on what you don't have. That you are the one attracts people in your life. You have to choose whether you want them to be part of you or not.I guess, he is right.I have never really choose well, mostly, I just simply Love without really thinking very hard.
I had read a message from my phone, and it states; "I don't believe in the word REGRET.....but, I do believe in the phrase,I screwed up and I learned from it"
I only wish, the pain will go away. I apologized to all the people,I've hurt in the past. If I've didn't give all my love. If I have not been the ideal girl before. If my expectations are so high to reach. Forgive me...
Now, a new chapter begins. New me, New Life,...but, Love will soon come. I'll wait for the right time ,until I've really known to show the real meaning of it.
Yes,I'm asking him to love me back wholeheartedly. but, He can't give. Sadly,I'm just a second priority to him. That's why I've decided to stop, until my heart tells me that I still loved him. It hurts but I have to let him go.
