Delayed PT Volunteer

I never knew, if its coincidence or fate, how come my interview at the NGO personnel delayed each day. My friend keeps texting me to come and get dressed for the interview, either the person had a meeting at DOH, absent or sick and my Interview will be postponed and be dated another week. Does my Angel whispered me that I need to postponed my volunteer work at Children's Hospital or should I wait for the right hour.
Life is filled with mysteries.

Now, my insomnia attacks again. I end up sleeping at 2am. I'm filled with worries that my mind keeps thinking even if my body wants to rest and sleep. I can't explain, but my anxiety blows again. Should I discard my feelings and focused on what I want. But, how can I concentrate? If I'm filled with fears. I guess, I need to pray harder and to have faith. Life is filled with struggles. I've been very busy being responsible to all the problem that arises. Sometimes, I forget myself. I end up being unhappy but I can't do anything to stop being lonely inside. It seems, I'm searching things that I couldn't find. All my life, there are hundreds of delays. I can't even count.

My charity works delays my existence. I'm afraid of new changes, but, need to accept the new challenges that I need to partake. I really need to be patient and let me look for some inspiration. I hope, I'll find it sooner. Delays makes me evaluate myself more. Until, I arrive at a point, where everything aligns all path and I'll be happy in the end. Wishing my PT volunteer works will be granted for my new learning and spiritual growth.

Hold my hand, Never let it Go—Said God

Oftentimes,I asked various questions that battling my mind. But , none of those have been answered. Whenever I grief for a failed wish of a good career or a success of an exam. A past failures , a broken heart, bad relationship which makes me hanging in a catatonic episode of my life. Even it’s in my heart desire to fulfill such goals. It never happens. But, I continue to move on.

Even it seems so inevitable or explicable, it may seem so imaginary that my mind made up, that makes my life so miserable, that others can’t figure out my actions. Yes, Indeed, I’m filled with worries and fear from the past events. But, still, I continue to be anxious. Then, I remember a story of a daughter and his father.
Then, the story goes:

Father and daughter were crossing a narrow bridge.
Father asked the child to hold his hand, as they crossed.
So, the child would never fall and lost any grip.
Daughter said, “No, dad. You hold my hand.”
Father asked, “What’s the difference if you hold my hand
rather than I hold yours?”
Daughter said, “If I hold your hand.
I might let go. But, if you hold my hand,
you’ll never let me go!”

Sometimes, we intend to lose the grip. Certainly, We lost hope to continue life and struggle to some challenges of Life. But, Our Savior, Father in Heaven continues to love us unconditonally.

No matter, how many times, we fell on the ground, his rod stick are there to help us to stand. We might let go, but, he will be ready to reach us and embrace us tight because we are his children and he love us dearly.

As I seek my confidence and discovered myself. I have search and look for ways to enlighten my soul, to lift my hearts and mind to unite and think well compassionately. I learn to remember the story.

A delighted hope, that whenever we lose faith , there is someone up above , smiling and ready to accept our weaknesses and failures. We just need to ask and never let go of his hand.

A Seminar & a Fake Infatuation

Last November 18 at 2:30 pm , I was in St.Luke's Hospital at Cathedral Heights Auditorium 1 for a Seminar about COPD and Quit cessation of Smoking. I was invited by a Chief PT of the other Hospital. The day was so wonderful, it's the time where I could meet again my old pal Girlie and Marizza in My UP Manila Refresher Course, time to catch things up. Even, it's quite painful to reminince the old PT Board Exam. But, I have given hope to pursue my dreams. I guess, there is a reason why PT is still keeping me back into alignment, where my heart belongs. While, the day was filled with new knowledge ahead, aside the place was so prestigious because of the Hospital Name. Some facts,I have learned and some exercises that can be useful with patients having a Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients, that I'll be encountering soon in my practice and it can be beneficial.

As well as, I could teach it to my parents as well. As I have taken some notes for me to remember and browse. With a good meal and a lot of Pharmaceutical Give aways like sanitizer, medicines and tissue, what else could be? Fabulous souvenirs....it ends at 6pm, quite dark and I have a long way to go. still, need to travel for about 3 hours in Cavite.

Then, I decided to visit Nazareno , the famous and loving Quaipo Church, its been a while, since I went there to pray and I missed being on that place, it gives me serenity, joy and it comforts me, just sitting at the bench chairs of the church and looking at his face. I felt his Love for me.

At the same time , I need to meet some special guy, the Broadcaster Commentator whom I met on Tagged website. Well, As I met him, wearing a white polo and Maong pants,I never expected that he could be fast, as fast and loud as his personality. His cute,has long shape nose, cute two dimples, a sweet sleepy eyes and a hunky body type with strong biceps muscles.. that i love to hug. Actually, his fine with me, but, the sad part, He is too proud of himself and too insensitive. Maybe, love collides and he is not the right man for me. but, still, I prefer to go on dating until the right Man came in my life...

Men are scared of commitments!

Nowadays, its difficult to find someone who can truly accept who you are! Who accept your weaknesses, who understand the real you and the things that you love doing almost every day. It's sad to say, that most men are looking for someone to play around. They mingle to women who are not so serious at all. Men are usually afraid of having a commitment. I believe that they are simply afraid of the responsibility their going to undergo. Women looks for someone who can truly love them, who listens to all their stories, to accompany them whenever they go out, to share some interesting new fad, who can treat them right decently and faithfully. Whom they can be comfortably staying all night listening to a favorite tune. But, men are opposite, they watched and observed our body language. They knew our signs. They knew if we like them, then, their fangs are marked within our skins.They can easily attached their venom so the poison runs into our circulation. Until, they are hooked up and we are too. However,we need to remember that we need to be careful. Sometimes, we need to value and learn to be more appreciative and be more observant of their actions. Sometimes, women should listen to their voices and watched for every move they make. Maybe, someday, if they met the right one for them. They can easily give their hearts. They're full attention and they are willing to sacrifice just to win a woman's love for eternally. It could happen, if you believe, it will happen. True love could exist in a Man's Heart and fears will be blown away. A Conversation goes like this: "you should just walk it on your mind to get to know how you make all these things happen before you can even understand-he says:
Then, I replied:
its your decision to make it happen
it starts in the mind,,then in the heart.....
Commitment comes naturally in one's heart, like sacrifices comes unknowingly. It delivers you to a completely different world filled with joy and everlasting true love. Men could learn to love, if the stone of hearts fall on their head so hard.

A Tagged for Ante

You keep on browsing for a beautiful lady on net. But, you end up searching for your heart. Your daily routine, grasp different opinions and comment, does your heart really felt the strong emotions. With your love voice, an echo broadcast, plays a tiring and fulfilled day. Happiness remain constant in one's heart because you do best in your craft. A call interprets one soul, intentions are unclear but friendship can grow. Maybe, there is a sweet connections and only God determines, if spirits attracts two poles. Serendipity may occur. Time would set the course. A tag was made, a love can behold or uphold. Only two choices are made. It's within our hearts, to let love flood in. It's our decision to hold or let go. So, just simply tagged in, my dear new friend, Ante.

A Pound for Goodness

If a person was forced or pulled into a post, would you remain constant, controlled or follow the power it holds you. Will you try to exchange your trysting place into a busy day. If your determine to say yes,will you able to sacrifice for others to be in good shape, where they need your help? Would you comply and bent the rules? Or just simply sent a request to your supervisor because your just doing the right thing, ahead of their knowledge with your sincere respect. Yesterday,It's a great blessing. I have decided to be posted in another terminal due to lack of people on that said day. Its a good decision, aside, my stomach was so full of numerous drinks, kuwaiti food and pancit for dinner. I'm blessed because all of those things are free. Our Doctors and Assistant are so generous, kind and thoughtful. Surely, they knew how to handle their subordinates. I'm very thankful for them. Happiness filled my hearts, I have ample time to catch up things with my fellow colleague and a good friend of mine. We share ideas and opinions towards certain incidents that occur. One factor, that shows her real attitude is towards money. She had a bigger view in terms of earning her hard cash. She wants all to be accounted.I believe she value her earned salary for working dedicatedly.However, I'm proud of her. She only wants the money that we all shared must be used accordingly.
The day was great, there are laughters and giggles. Loud voices and simple cute quarrels are heard. I'm so blessed, I have help someone. I don't know, but, helping other people comes to me so naturally. It feels so light upon rendering service. You can't explain the happiness and fulfillment. I guess, a little pound wouldn't hurt as an exchange of goodness. It's a heart whelming episode upon receiving simple gift from up above and he knows how sincere my intentions are. But, I'm not asking for any reward. A simple thank you and a smile of a child brighten up my day. Everything ends with light joy. I wanted to have a wonderful duty and indeed comes true. To serve others, to extend good things to them without expecting any reward in return. But, angelically, gifts poured from heaven.

Everything happens for a reason

When a pot of flowers fell on your head in a high rise building? When you lost your wallet on your way to work? When your trapped in a pit hole where construction site is going? When your interview dress is filled with vomit of a crying baby? When your stock in a heavy traffic going to your first interview? When a fire broke at your office at 7 in the morning? When a typhoon came as u log out in your company? When everything you do, doesn't work for a day. How can you cope? Maybe, you can end up saying. Everything happens for a reason. Is there any real purpose, why certain situation happens? What if that scenario,delays you to do things for your own goodness. It delays you to continue your work. You need to listen in your intuition. It might get worst, if you won't listen to a whisper of your own angels.You can never tell.Your life could be at stake. Thou, sometimes, you hold your own opinions. you already figure out, the results. But, your too blind to see it. Too stubborn to prevent the mishap. To lazy to follow such another path. To pride that strucks like lightning in the end. But, to sum it up. I believe, everything has its own reasons. Everything has their own purpose. Some might regret the consequence, some might look for other alternatives. I wondered, it's your own will to follow or not. You hold your own key in your hand. So, face the inevitable. Be Brave and have that confidence in you......

Work or Visit My Grandma, What will it Be?

A Decision,a commitment to hold. But,where should I stand? I have already think a thousand times. I arrived at a good conclusion last Sunday morning. Yes, I went to go for work. I need to attend my duty.I have already prayed and asked my deceased Lola that I can't visit her at Heritage Park. I need to work. With all the loans and cut salaries. I really need to be there at Terminal 2. I guess, sometimes, we need to decide whether we need to go or just paused, think, what is best for everyone. Family is my main priority but, we can't be together all the time. I need to do some sacrifices for the benefit of our Family. I believe that my Loving Grandma understands. She knew that I need t go for work and I knew that she loves me and still,she is watching over us. I Love my Lola so much and no matter what happens. She will alway be in my heart and her memories will always be lingered. Though sometimes , I really miss her. But, I knew she is Ok, she is with our dear Father in Heaven with my Grandpa, Auntie and other Lola's, she is happy with them. So, I prayed for their spirits that is all I can give, a peace and with comfort and loving hearts.

“You’re my Love, My Destiny”

I light a candle, I prayed for you
I dreamt a guy
I wished for someone to came by
Is it you, I’ve been waiting
Does my sign really works for you
If you’re the one
Will you stay longer
Will your love be pure
Will you be sincere in your thoughts
I’ve been waiting for so long
For a real guy to pass by
Did my wish granted?
Is he my prince charming?
Whom I loved
For the rest of my Life
To whom I will share
My loneliness and grief
And even the hardships
And difficulties in Life
Are you willing to give yourself
To your one and only love
Whom you will share your life with
Are you the one for me
Whose sent from Heavens above
If I love you faithfully
Will you love me faithfully
Will you love me back
If I will care for you
Would you even care for me
A little
But, I’ll still give you
My Unconditional Love
If you were my Destiny
Can I hold you Forever,
My Love……..
by: Seraphimblue

Everyone believes that there someone meant for them to share their love for eternity, someone who will be there for them until their hair turns grey. A love that is everlasting, one who loves dearly, faithfully with trust and respect. Everyone wished that her destiny is near, As you wish for a falling star. Someday, our wishes will meet and will fall our near and whisper those words. "I do, love you so forever"

Shortage of money boost up Anger & Irritability

I believe that 90 percent of people have their own swing mood disorders. There are a lot of various factors that adds up to their unpredictable minds. Some can be naive, timid, can laugh for joy, or cuddle the whole evening with a pillow or end up in pail of tears, while, other's can raise their temp. in 38 degree's and end up getting a full blown of stroke. While, some can read a good book and let the moment pass by listening to Mozart or Beethoven classical songs. So in a way, even the lack of money of hundreds of people can also shook up their head and they start arguing with their fellow friend, siblings or even their own parents. One can be so unpleasant if one handles all the budgets and especially if she doesn't have any enough salary. The worst scenario, she is not contented on what she had because she wants more but she can't because she doesn't have any money to even support her likes and wants, materially or even just to make her day happy by a simple food , she wants to eat. I have learned that emotions are originated in our brain primarily at the hypothalamus. It integrates our different attitudes towards certain things. The way we respond, our fight and flight mechanism , our arousal and alertness level are situated in our brain. That is why if something goes wrong , our body reacts to a safety mechanism, it can balance our system and reverse back. But, it depends how much extensive the injury is. Who Among us, doesn't experience of having ten peso coin left in our pocket. We feel angry, pity and we blame ourself. Do we spend so much of things that are not valuable or rather , this is all we left from all the expenses we had for a month. While, others, We passed by in the roads, bridges, corridors and light post. All they have is a 10 peso coin on their tin can. I have written this, for me to feel thankful on things I have. I might not bought a gift or things I really wanted to have but I should be thankful for the Life I had. Yes, I'm only human. I feel emotions that really knocks my head off. I feel arrogant, rude , cruel and greedy. But, as I sit and realized. I shouldn't treat others or myself like that. I knew, that all of us encountered shortage of money that makes our mind go crazy. But, to sum it up. All we need is a little comfort and cheer to our loved one, telling us everything will be fine that we need is to pray and have faith. I read an article, that each generations have their own crisis, Yes, indeed, each generations encountered chaos, battles and poverty. In conclusion, its temporary, humankind move on. We might have a financial global crisis at the present but as we move along the road. We can see ourselves, Life is like a traffic sign, it might signaled red for STOP but it turns Green to GO.

A New Baby: To rock my World

Is there any way to be happy but rather to have a baby on your own. But, I guess, it will be 3 years before I decided to go for marriage. But, at this moment, I'll be contented to wait for my first niece to come. Yes, indeed, my sister is expecting to have a Baby. It's a long story. I may say, regrets are always in the end. People must learn in a hard way for her/him to know his/her mistakes. That, next time, a person must use his/her mind before he/she do something. A man or woman must think first, not only for her own happiness, but, the welfare of persons surrounding her. To change the subject. My emotions are mixed during this past weeks. I felt betrayed. I felt that I'm the one should be blamed, but, to sum it up. Its not my decision. I have done everything to prevent such catastrophe. But, it's her own life. I had advised her from the moment of that relationship. I'm surprised and yet I'm happy because this time. I'll be taking good care of my real baby, one that is our own blood. One that I can kiss whole day long, one that I can teach to write, sing, dance, blog, chat and even listen to Youtube. A Baby that could rock my silent World. An Intelligent Baby who can sermoned her mommy to do good and to straighten up her thinking. My world will be shaken by a new creature, but, I will love him/her like the way I did to my sister and brother. To sum it up, I should learn to be patient with a cheerful smile....

10 Years of Love Crashed Away

If Love was supposed to last for a Lifetime. Why does anyone fall out of love? And the misery starts when pain grows each day. As you remember the old times, the laughter and the embrace that you bought gave. Come what may, Love prevails. Even there are persons whose against with the relationship. One truly in love fights for true and endless love. Some say, if your meant to love each other, even how many times you break up or lose your way. There will come a time, that your cross road will meet. That if destiny is in your hand. No mater how many decades, you didn't seen each other. Love will still be the same. Love will still gives another chance. Love will blossom even how many decades passes by. If one truly decides to be together, no one can ever dictates, no one can never stop the love you have for each other. But, it always have to be a decision of two souls, two soul mates must meet in one path, one genuine love must stay on each hearts. A lifetime decision to be together, filled with hope, faith , respect and most of all, a love that is everlasting. I may fall out of Love due to a lot of reasons. Still, I learn to open my Heart. As I noticed, that even 10 years of relationship could not mean forever. Years can't be an evidence for Love to stay. Yes, the pain are so enormous, that you want to die instantly. However, a man or a woman should discard that mindset. Even how hurtful it can be. You will still live, you can still hope and most of all you could learn to love again. Maybe, there is someone meant for you. maybe, she/he is there for you to learn to love yourself more, maybe, you need to replace the old you, maybe, no one can love you , the way she/he did. But, to sum it all. You learn to love, you learn to offer yourself , you learn to sacrifice and let her/him go. It is not because you don't love him/her but, you need to tell yourself. it is enough. I need to move on, without you. To see things, without you. To feel things, without you. To grow, without you, To be thankful, without you.I remember my past heartaches. But, I learn to forgive and hope that there will be someone who will truly love me. As I watched, a sibling crushed his heart to a sad song. I only wished for him, to hold on and to trust in God's plan. Pain is a temporary emotions, you can't dwell on it forever. A 10 Years of a relationship can be gone for just blink of an eye. But, I tell you. It is worth the journey because you learn to love. That is the most precious thing that even our dear creator gave us.

I'm not hired but I gain Friends

What are they looking for? Are they looking for a star quality appearance. A voice of Drew Barrymore, an accent of Hugh Grant. A face of Mandy Moore. Yesterday, I was so dissapointed but happy as well. I only have 2 minutes and the exam will start at 10am. Luckily, I had taken the exam. I was successful, I passed the first one, then into 15 persons we are left with 6. I'm included with that group. A second exam came. The funny thing is, its 20 minutes with 80 questions. I can't figure out, how fast are their clock, it feels like its not 20 min. I have not answered the second page. Then, the girl gets out and get all our papers. Then, there is a radio for our 3rd exam. Then, we listen to a conversation and a multiple choice exam are taken. After, a few minutes,they called one guy. Then, all person whose left in their chair are the one's who does not qualified. The HR told us that we can apply for 3 months again. I can't believe that I failed. I hate to say but with that fast clock they have I should have passed. Well, better next time and next company, I may say. That's what I did, with a new friend beside me. Dra. Mes, we went in another company. But, sadly. The HR girl, has the ability and charm to make believe that you can be really hired on their company. She has the ability for you to hope, the way her actions does, her twinkling eyes, her smile and the way she communicate. The way she pronounces each words coming out from her mouth tells us that we can be qualified. But, in the end, our hopes failed.She want us to be honest and personal. But, to sum it up. She is choosy , she is finding something, she is looking for someone quite the same with her. Someone whom she believe who has the star quality factor for being a Call Center Agent. Can't u believe, we are 4 Medical Allied and one Engr. She doesn't hired us all. We had spoken courteously and intelligently. But, we failed. Then, we went to another company. We wished that the interviewer will be nice, but sadly she is starving and with bad luck the one who interviewed me on the phone. Is the girl who interviewed us. That's the moment I feel that I'm not belong. Maybe, there's a right job for me , waiting. Something that I could be useful. A job worth with my commitment and passion. I failed all the Interviews but I gain new friends, perhaps, a new girlfriend for my brother. I thank God for the experience. To be good at my craft, to be blessed on what I have, to learn to wait for the right job created on my skills. I still created a positive attitude towards a new understanding of what things I can't have or things that I can achieved.

First Call from so called Mr. Sweetie

So many clicks. But,only one guy noticed my Angel. A tagged profile was beautifully made. Angel concepts parades my web. Perhaps, a stranger from another country. But, one race connects us together. Yes, he can speak the same language. Then, one call was heard. It started a new beginning, friendship of sweetness, familiarity and compatibility are still running. Soon, it will be tested at the right time and at the right place. Even one laugh, one joke, one song and one expression voices out that certain bond begins. He called me "Sweetie" and I called him "Mr.Sweetie".Maybe, both Mouse clicks because we belong to a place where plane parks in a hangar. Where only engines of care are heard? Where sweet talks and romantic caress are missed-out? At this moment, Both Worlds are faraway. At this hour, timezones are unique. While, you look ways to reach a certain horizon for us to be together, only in words or calls. As you browse a page,you noticed a sweet , cute sensible soul? You reach my hand and until you whisper to my ear, the words I longed to hear. Are you sincere or your fooling me around. Nobody knows what your heart's desire. Until then, I wanna hear you sing me a song again, "Angels brought me here?"...as I comply you might be the one who answered my prayers.

A Normal High

Big drops of rain pours outside my window. Awaken at Nine O'clock by a loud sound of Alarm. I prayed and thank God for the day ahead. Even it's cold and I want to cradle myself in my bed.I need to fix myself up because I still need to meet my friends after lunch. But, before that I need to ate my breakfast and go upstairs to check the CSC website to confirmed, if I'm truly passed the sub-pro exam.What a surprised, it's really true, Michelle's word of mouth came true. She called last night for that good news. Thank God for a precious gift and I thank mitch for believing in me.. One Self-esteem point boost up my engine again to fight my daily struggles with love and guidance of our dear Lord. What a wonderful day to start with. Yes, frankly it's not a normal day, usually I have to be at the airport today but I really valued my friends and I missed them a lot so I decided to be absent to be with them especially one of my closest pal is leaving for US tomorrow, it's cindy, a friend I'm with for 3 yrs at San Juan De Dios. I'll miss her but we have different lives to take care with and I wish her luck for the journey ahead. May all her dreams be fulfilled with guidance of our dear Lord. I, Lhorna and Lai just arrived in time in MOA, a long walk, to watch the ocean spread behind the brick walls, as a fountain danced with glee, a moment to smell the fresh breath of sea, we enjoyed talking as we walk on by. Until we arrived at a post, as a white van came across the sidewalk of San Miguel by the Bay. We knew, Maricel with her parents are already here, a 3 hours trip from Bataan just to see us and dine with us coming from Singapore.She will treat us, she was so blessed, a nice loving, cheerful lady. I wished her happiness and all the love. I'm excited to see her again. Yes, indeed. What A high,fantastic rainy and fabulous day to meet with my loving and true friends. Even a level of cholesterol with a normal high value can't beat up the love, care and comfort we gave for our friendship. A genuine, authentic union of spiritual warrior soul of friends equip with a true bond of friendship and a strong faith in God.