The Perfect Shoe

At Nine o'clock am, I can't open my eyes, I'm so tired at work and I haven't have enough sleep yet. But, I have promised to my best friend that I'll be accompanying her to apply at Makati but We end up in Baclaran to buy a shoes for Sunday's Wedding. i'm sweating over my head and back, the humid air and rays of sunlight makes me drink a glass of water. I burst out with laughter, as the shoes of ann continue to breaks slowly on the side and even she can't walk into. I need to buy her one, so she can used it when she will be applying for work in makati. As I look, for the perfect shoe, either I end up over sized or out of stock. Until, I tried very hard to find one, Sometimes, we are too busy looking on our side that all this time that thing that you valued more are so near at you. That you seldom noticed. Until you look closely and listen to your heart. You pretend not to like, for many reasons your looking for much better, much benificial , much attractive and pleasant but all along all you wanted is thing you hope for, the thing you desire most. With the same style, the same wedge, the same color of authenticity that approves your senses. But,summing it up. You'll buy the shoes with your fave color, your own style, the one that fits you and the one that makes you comfortably walks around. No mater how much time you put up finding the right perfect shoe. In conclusion you are the one who makes decisions to have those pair of shoes.

My First BookFair: A Healing Episode

Countless Books, I encountered during the Book Fair last Sept.15. Alone, I mingle and I've been so fascinated how many publishing Bookstore participated that event. All kinds of ages enjoyed , summing around like bees in tons of books parading and exhibiting their featured contents. For Four Hours touring all the booths, some giving away bookmarks and article notebooks. I managed to stand with long hours of standing without taking my lunch just to swam around with books. Amazingly, I keep coming back on the same booth, I visited first. Its OMF Literature Publishing. Finally, I have waited, there is a live broadcast Interview of the writer who published the Book called "The Heart of Healing". I listened for about 5-15min., I was touched by his message and how dedicated he is in her loving wife who has a dreadful disease of Lupus, a gene disorder, a rare pathologic disease that dominated in females, I pitied the writer, I know how difficult it is to support and care a lupus patient because I experienced having that kind of patient during my internship years.
I can sense how dedicated and passionate he is, it determines that it is based on his true indwelling experiences how he fight and struggled together with his wife.
How he managed to care, support , help and provide for his family and for her loving and dying wife. A Husband whose willing to sacrifice even his own life but all he can give is his faith to go and live for his kids. The wife died and the book is the living legacy .A sign of his undying love for her wife so others can be inspired to learn to love unconditionally. The book serves as a healing tool for him and the kids, as well as, an instrument for others to be brave for the dreadful conditions that they are experiencing at this moment.The book will enhanced their faith in God, to continue to believe and be healed through the Good News that our Savior is always on our side, because he loves us unconditionally. While, I admired his effort and great love for her wife. If I could only wished that I'll find my Great Love, soon. But, furthermore, I've been walking alone in the aisle with books surrounding me and I felt good. Even, my feet swell with miles of walking. I sighed , what a wonderful day filled with thousands of books to see and I thank God for it.

Little Voices (Part3)

The most dreadful thing, I noticed. After, they used it, all the sacrifices, the hard work, and the undying sleepless night. You won’t be able to ask why, that as quickly as it disappears in front of you, as one dictator commanded it.
Some are too narrow in thinking, the only things that wanted to be heard is the exact answer with the same questions coming from out their mouth, chances ate they only want to hear , what they want to listen. They want people to talked, but, they want to hear their own voice echoing. They act as they say, they held appointments. Meetings and committee’s, but, reactions are not coming from them. Each direction are reprimanded and followed by fear not by will. Some has bigger ideas for future security, but the welfare
Of people involved are not well-defined. They set certain boundaries and schematic diagrams to enrich potentials in giving profit, but, both ends still questionable and unknown, that make a great escape, a great kind of event that makes the little ones lost, confused and cheated. Whenever a person asked me, why do people climb on a top of a mountain? I just answered them two statements. It’s an opportunity to climb and share the wondrous creations I have seen in m eyes, that a man could ever imagined or a chance to be one’s thorn, to throw rocks on people below to self-gain, self-security, self-fame, self-idolatry for other’s to follow and be slave for rudeness, selfishness, pride and ego. I was once in a group of team, where the shells sparkles like a diamond, but, I was wrong, it’s black as a coal. Some don’t have insights, their blinded with camaraderie made b extravagant gatherings and overwhelming praises. Some forget to hear their ears are entangled by fear, pride, self-centered and self security of the status, they intend to have. The pressure of choosing one’s integrity is overlooked by silent actions.
Some are traitors, judge mentalist, publicist, storytellers who had their own set of stories to unfold, one lines of music and lyrics to play without discovering the old strings, the real lines of the song. They do want they want, they change and replace the words and scattered them to the guitar strings. They set some new rules, but, unity and respect are not gained. Leadership is meant but safeguarding oneself and transferring responsibility are not ideal for a society. Good people, the dedicated one who has sincere, concerns are burned. Are kept and sealed in an open basket, Target arrows are tracking their paths; each detailed sequences are marked down and traced b an enemy unknown. Preparing to have a good kill and strike the good one’s upon each tunnel it passed.
Each survivor learn the strategy , a technique of reality that anyone could be instantly be naïve, or a consistent high rank vulture with a keen sense of eyeing for a prey, hunting each possible bait.

Making of Website: A Remedy for Lonelines

As I browse, makes new lay-outs, customized and meet new friends online. My life keep busy for a while. But, to sum it up. Does it really cure my frustration in life, the failures and struggles I have been through. I can't hide it anymore. I feel so sad, depressed and I pity for myself for being so stupid to believe in such dreams that easily fades away. Making a website entails lots of fun. By filling up wonderful, bright colors, designs and different widgets that makes your website so unique and different. But, the ending still you need to update all the websites. You need to enlighten each mentors you have. All has pure hearts and I'm thankful. I have some who stay on the line, who can gaps all bridges even were far from other places. Happines can appear, it's your choice to leave with it or just be with the flow of so called "life"

Little Voices (Part 2)

The most dreadful thing, I noticed. After, they used it, all the sacrifices, the hard work, and the undying sleepless night. You won’t be able to ask why, that as quickly as it disappears in front of you, as one dictator commanded it.
Some are too narrow in thinking, the only things that wanted to be heard is the exact answer with the same questions coming from out their mouth, chances ate they only want to hear , what they want to listen. They want people to talked, but, they want to hear their own voice echoing. They act as they say, they held appointments. Meetings and committee’s, but, reactions are not coming from them. Each direction are reprimanded and followed by fear not by will. Some has bigger ideas for future security, but the welfare
Of people involved are not well-defined. They set certain boundaries and schematic diagrams to enrich potentials in giving profit, but, both ends still questionable and unknown, that make a great escape, a great kind of event that makes the little ones lost, confused and cheated. Whenever a person asked me, why do people climb on a top of a mountain? I just answered them two statements. It’s an opportunity to climb and share the wondrous creations I have seen in m eyes, that a man could ever imagined or a chance to be one’s thorn, to throw rocks on people below to self-gain, self-security, self-fame, self-idolatry for other’s to follow and be slave for rudeness, selfishness, pride and ego.

A Pretty wise Interview

Time to wake up. A day for a Corporate Interview. I've been very exhausted this following days without enough sleep and rest. Amazingly, I managed to ride in a jeep and wait for the Leviriza Bus on my way to Makati. I survived the most exciting and nervous day of my life. It's almost a Two-Hour journey , a new road for me to fit in and to take new challenges, new responsible to feel in, but. it's worthwhile. I have another role to portray. Hopefully, I could find some new carreer advancement, wherein my potential in different clerical or healthcare aspect will be enhanced and develop more. Now, I could face my fears because I'm scared to know what I'm capable of doing. For primary reason, I always encounter a lot of failures. Still, I need to stand, be brave, still hope for good things to come and to have faith in our Divine Savior , our dear Lord to direct and guide me to all his plans. My interview was so terrific and I'm quite so nervous at the beginning. But, it turns out intelligently, amazingly fabulous. My interviewer is so wonderful and so fabulous. The way he ask questions, it's so wisely pick, with great outfit and the elegant manner she shows marks in m mind and heart. That I really want to be like her. Her pretty wise gestures shows the she's in control , she knows how to deal and handle the conversation attentively, with great confidence and knowledge in the corporate field she was in. I'm so thankful that everything goes well. I have gained a lot of wisdom in terms of having composure in interviews. A fun,exciting, scary, knowledgeable, challenging day I have been. Thank you , Lord for guiding me. Thank u my dear Angels......

I Believe I could touch the Heaven's Above if I:


****Was more grateful for what I already have in my life.
---------so I can appreciate things and people around me
****Talked to our Divine Source, our creator, our providence,"God" like a friend,
a mentor
---------so I can voice out all my sentiments and fears
****Pray more often
--------so I can be at peace in my heart, mind and soul
****Can listen to my intuition, what my heart says.
--------so I can learn to balance my ego, pride and emotions
****Keep my heart and mind positive, loving, open and filled with
Affection and Compassion
-------so fear would disappear and joy will appear
****Was more caring, true and transparent with those who put
God in my life
----------because I met them not to break my heart but to learn more wisdom
******Was willing to give opportunity for other's to grow
-----------so I may enriched my soul
******Stay committed in Knowing our Divine Lord more each day
------------so my purpose in this world will be known
******Encouraged and Esteemed other more rather than myself
------------so I can enriched my friendship and develop more confidence
******Develop more trust and confidence in our Dear God
------------so I can put all my anxiety away from me and let him guide my way

written by: seraphimblue

Little Voices1

Whenever I see a team in a field that works togetehr. I can't help but to recall my memories of a group that I had joined. When I came out in the real world. I never imagined , how harsh and cruel people are. But, I never thought that on the same group I belong, I felt that I'll be grind. That each person that I met has a camelion colors at the back, that for anything else happens they will push you out on the boat or throw you outside the plane that no matter how much you tried to blend on the note, a soprano will rise in a high pitch and an alto will be left behind in a corner of the room. Some people whispered me to hold on the rope, so you won't be lost on a tug of war, but, the intensity continues to speed up, loud and crackling are screaming. I fought abck and pretend that I'm deaf. I tried to face up and walk forward without turning back even when fire starts burning so hot. I lift my heavy load and carry it, as much as I can. But, each stride I take, it makes me feel so worthless, a fragile glass that any moment will breakdown into tiny bits. Yes, indeed, there are joyous times, when I cherished beautiful, sincere and loyal friendship that I may seem genuine, with authentic seal that lasted for a millineum. Those years are previous that can't be replaced by any gold coin that a Rich man has. But, there are dark hours that I managed to surpass and learned from it.
The wisdom I gained was inconquerable by anyone, that within in a society we live in, there are certain agenda, memo and rules that must be implemented courteously and authoritatively by influential people who loves to manipulate the system with little few people that ironically acts as a simple, non-intellectual machinery to them. Some see humans beings as cowards, a remote control, imbecile and in-despensible life form that one clap from the high chair above will be thrown out in garbage truck.
Date Written: February 11,2006

"The Little Angel came Home"

Yesterday was a joyful sunday. All our loved-one's, loving relatives & my mom's closest friend joined the celebration of my Mom's 56th Birthday. With a surprised gift that our Little Angel had arrived with her Mom Ann to greet and be with us on that happy day. I can see in my mother's eye that she really missed the child. Upon embracing and kissing her, tears suddenly fell into her cheeks and we gladly noticed it. I have mixed emotions upon having bath on that morning. I felt an extraordinary happiness and a little sprinkle of sadness.I can't explain that emotions but I believe it's natural to feel this way. I don't know, but, I can sense into my nerves that this will be the last celebration I will be seeing and will be attending to my closest and loving family. Then, another happy moments will be filled in another chapter of my life in another world or even another country. Our laughters and giggle will always be remembered. The memorable pictures that seem so everlasting. The cool moods and loving embrace of friends, cousins, grand mother, Uncle and Antie's will just a loving and sweet memory I'll treasure. I can't believe that I have never open any cent into my pocket but thankfully that day surpass with abundant blessing. I was so thankful in our Father in Heaven for guiding and blessing that wonderful day. Thank you Oh Lord. How can I throw any cent if I don't have any and I'm thankful to my Uncle that his there to make my mother's day alive and glorious. Wishing them all good health, love and happiness in the World. Maybe, soon, I can give back all the love and happiness my mom gives us. I love my mother and I'm thankful for having her around. I thanked for the arrival of our little Angel, she gives a big smile in our heart's..

My Untitled Attitude Problem

Such a bump, that shakes my head, a big trouble, a worry that lifts me up unknowingly. I might be unconscious but too uncaring to take such particular move to discard immediate behavior.
Am I too careful or too safe guarding to myself. Am I too judgemental, bossy that demands acting to be appropriate or I'm too careful to make mistakes that makes my actions to displaced blame to other person. Am I too realist and perfectionist that I want balance that I'm disturbing their will to choose. That I'm controlling their words and actions that makes me a villain, not a friend.Did I really want to hear them speak, Did I really want them to be independent. Did I grab their integrity, their opinions, their decisions in life. Did I expected too much in return? I believe all the answers is "Yes", and it threatens my personality because I know in fact that denial, pity , grief, insecurity and inferiority are qualities that kills me slowly. That I'm turning againts myself and to other's that makes me so weak, while, hiding to a edifice mode that I'm brave that I can handle all.
But, in reality. I'm too weak, full of fear and it worries me a lot. It worsens daily that I don't even recognized. I guess, it really knocks me. i don't know how to move. Now, I'm back to my old shell, powerless, so inferior and lost.
That I don't know where to run, how to walked again, to stand and stroll and to face people in my world. Cycles repeats it's phase until now I have not learned. I shouldn't have, but, It breaks again. But, how can I move. I guess, my heart will dictates the true inner me, as the holy spirit and Jesus Unconditional Love and goodness regains my ownself. Be Back in his arms and there will be peace in my heart, in my mind and my whole personality. As I gain confidence and hope in him, that he will mold me the way it should be. I need to trust him and put all my faith in his arms, so everything on his hands and all his plans will be made accordingly at the right time at the right place.
Date Written:February 28,2007

"Thank you for the gift of Friendship"

I remember those days, when I almost cried to death, that all my failures seems so inevitable that I lose any hope and will to live, when my heart is crushed with all the betrayal of a lost love, when my body seems so pale and weak to continue the hardship and responsibility of life and family, when all my hopes in a good and ideal career is winding in a zigzag road that cannot be straighten, when all my dreams are gone into the wind, "YOU ARE ALL THERE & YOU ARE ALL I HAVE" ,my true and sincere friends. What defines a genuine Friend? I believe a Friend is like a bulb who lightens up and gives strength to a flickering road. A friend who unites one's broken heart and inspired to continue loving and waiting for the right and perfect man to arrive. A Friend who never gives up to encourage and gives hope when things fall apart. A friend who listens with his heart , mind and soul ready to speak his/her own language. A friend who can rely on with no limitations and boundaries. A friend is timeless filed with love and compassion. That's all defines a kind of Friendship I have and I'm so blessed to have them. They knew who they are and I want them to know, how much I value them and how much they are important to me. Remember, I will always be your trusted and wonderful friend, wherever I may go, whatever road I'll take. I'll be forever honored and thankful that I met you all. As I reminisce the years, when we drink tequila after class and sung on videoke on our out of town gimmicks and as we went to Storyland, Nasugbo, Tagaytay or even Volets to unwind and nurture our true friendship, all those laughters and the trials of college Life , the pail of tears and sacrifices in life, work, family and love-ones, we've been through a lot and we been able to surpass it, as we hold each other's arms, with prayers that stand the most of our friendship. Thank you for the time you spent with me for all the up's and down of my life, thank you for the genuine love and true gift of friendship you share... your all my Angels on Earth .thank you........
Always bear this quotation, as my name recalls your memory: "TRUE FRIEND IS A SURE REFUGE-Aristotle" and "A TRUE FRIEND IS ONE WHO HEARS AND UNDERSTANDS WHEN YOU SHARE YOUR DEEPEST FEELING. HE SUPPORTS YOU WHEN YOU ARE STRUGGLING,HE CORRECTS YOU, GENTLY AND WITH LOVE, WHEN YOU ERR, AND HE FORGIVES YOU WHEN YOU FAIL. A TRUE FRIEND PRODS YOU TO PERSONAL GROWTH, STRETCHES YOU TO YOUR FULL POTENTIAL, AND MOST AMAZING OF ALL, HE CELEBRATES YOUR SUCCESSES AS IF THEY WERE HIS OWN.-Richard Exley" ----seraphim blue

My Worry Rides in a Tri-cycle

My life has a slow and fast cycles, like a rough path, there are pieces of stones that strucked me and prevent me to continue my journey. Those are my big worries, a bunck of anxieties ,financial bankruptcy, pail of depressions, past burdens, academic failures and heartaches that let my stomach ulcers boost up, even if my migraine shoot up and let my blood gos down and my insomia increasing disabling my health that let my temper in the morning, get mad and wild that begins my harsh words and high pitched loud of demands and commands to my family members.
Then,I learned to read books that improve and shift my senses to negative and positive to read true to life experiences that was printed to guide as a proof that prayers works to get rid of worries. But, one remedy that keeps me holding my faith intact, when my anxiety attacks, when I felt that my world is crumbling down, when I feel I'm alone. That I'm not happy. I just sit inside the the "Baclaran Church", Silence is within me, Peace and Love of the Lord is what I feel. Like hope , it flows in me. As I stare, feel my heartbeat. My worry and problem disseminates in the air. As I ride, the Tri-cycle of my life, as it goes, day by day, it gives me hope that time will do it's part, as our savior strengthens me and banishes all my fear in the future. I may sinked down, delayed all my flights, turned to other routes. But, I managed to look at the big window on the airport, as I see the blue skies where planes passed by. I just sighed, thank you God for a new,wonderful day and all the blessings that comes my way....
Date written: February 26,2007

A Child Like Joy

Everybody has a Child Like actions within. Oftentimes, we ignore the signs but as we grew older. Our hearts became hard as a stone, as genius like the kings or even as selfish like the crocs living in deep forest in Africa. But, how does our heart's grew as self centered and unkind to less fortunate people. Primarily, people oftentimes forgets their past, they forget their roots. They are too proud on what position they have.Seldom, denial strikes that he is fulfilled and happy with material things, fame, power around him.But, Does he really felt happiness within? Can he/she really laughs sincerely? or is he keeping all the tears in the middle of the night. No one can recognized your sadness especially if you demand rules, if you are in command who gives orders, if you are stress-out implementing regulations in a big organization, if you supervised members in a committee and you take all the responsibility to overcharge and dictate to all your subordinates. You have in your hand to do whatever it takes to manipulate and let people follow your command. But, have you listen to your heart lately. Do you feel that there is something incomplete in your life? That you are longing to have and do something creative and relaxing. Can you recognized that you need to stop working and really start living? Does your memories in childhood years lingers within your soul? If you answered, yes. Probably, you can start filling each day with a smile.Learn to be a child again. Appreciate simple things that comes your way. Be thankful on each abundant blessings, a mentor shares. Have a Child Like-Joy that overwhelms your soul, that gives warmth in your mind, that relaxes your body and soul. Do things without thinking intellectually that makes you happy and complete. Make each day as it was your last. Value the things that gives you pleasure. Be compassionate and be loving to people whom you care a lot. Remember to express how much she/he is important in your life. You can start it now. Be a Child within, it's the only way to open the gate in heaven, be Innocent and feel the love of people around you. Be humble and enjoy the wonderful creations, God made for us. Listen to your heart beats, feel the wave of the sea, look at the blue sky above, smell the flowers everyday, smile whenever you feel like doing it. Fill your heart with joy, even you grew older, you will be wiser because you have a heart of a child. You will always feel beautiful and young all the time and all your life. That's the way it should be and God wants it to be.

Sadness felt Without the Little Angel

Whenever I went home from a 24Hour Duty, I have freebies, I'll bring a long just to give it to our little angel tintin, she is like my daughter, she's the daughter of my bestfriend. I miss the days, when she embrace me so tight, kiss me and called me "ninang ", the way we watched dora, kungfu panda, urdujah and spongebob in YOUTUBE, how persistent she is to listen to the headset and how wonderful she can danced to "giling giling in wowwee at channel 2. All I can hear is her voices, how I love if I make her cry if I won't give the toy or things she wants..Definitely, I can't tolerate her all the time. Even, my mom is quite stubborn tolerating all our angel wants, of course her grandma always agrees. But, still the decisions, comes to her real mom ,marian. While ago, my mother told me that our little angel called, and I caught her almost crying. I see in my mother's eye. How she missed the child? her children is all Bachelors that's why we can't really give her grand son or grand daughter. That's why, all her attention is really focused on that child and she's the one who take care of that child since she was born and until now she's two year's old, my mom raises her up. Primarily, the child wants everyday to go in our House. But, sadly, arguments comes out with her mother and her Brother that the reason, the little child is living far away from us.I'm missing the little angel, but, life goes on, she will always on our hearts and she will always be my little angel. Her Birth gives my mother strength to be happy again and continue to all her struggles in Life. She's been a source of our joy during our darkness hours when our financial status sunk down into wilderness. She is sent by our dear Lord to cheer us, inspired us and help us to overcome our difficulties and she did erased the fights and she sew the hatred into love, she lighten our days....our little angel is around the corner, she will be here and my mom will laughed again and I'll smile with a warmth embrace. Love you my little angel tintin.

Can I managed a New Role?

Each man carries a role in one's life. One can play any role he/she wants. No matter how difficult it can be. You are the master of a real drama in your Life. You are the Engineer of your own building. Oftentimes, you are confused , if you can handle or ignore the position you are meant to have. But, as you handle and encounter another experience , you became depressed or either excited to achieved something that is not for you. You easily go blinded , to step on another field but learning to reflect and watch for your actions are the key to strengthen the goal you really want to have. It doesn't matter if you can performed or not, but, what matter's most is you finished it with pure heart, integrity and dignity. Managing a Role entails a lot of responsibility and sacrifices, if you are willing to take all the risk and accept the willingness of heart, you can handle those challenges. With Hope and Faith in God, You can stand , be brave to face all the trials. Even how many failures and pain's you undergo, as long as you have the faith in God and will to move on. Believe in yourself that you are wonderful and you can create your life fabulously. Everything will fall on the right place as God intended to be.