9 mornings: Learning the value of sacrifice, obedience and trusting in him in times of great sadness and trials

DATE: DECEMBER17, 2011

9 mornings: Learning the value of sacrifice, obedience and trusting in him in times of great sadness and trials

DAY 3:

This morning I attend the mass but I was never along. I’m with my sister donna. I’m happy that even I wake up late than her usual time of 2:30 am, my heart was filled with gladness because its like the same old days, attending early mass with my sibling and family as well. Even, I felt so tired that I travelled another dimension again. Well, the mass goes well, with new priest standing in front of the altar.

My heart shouts with glee, as I brilliantly sings praise and joy to our savior. I’m filled with joy because I was able to attend the 3rd day. Even, if my eyes slowly wants to close and sleep; I was able to managed and follow the songs of praise of alleluia and other songs.

The sermon gives a very enormous impact to my well being. Every little words, our priest spokes enlightened my whole being. It’s like a candle burning so bright that it cuts my eyes. I guess, there is no great sacrifice that Papa Jesus had did and also her mother, mama Mary. No man can live up to all the sufferings, they both gave. The acceptance of doing all the chores of responsibility and carrying the child on her womb without any complain, only she gave her whole trust that our dear God will never leave him and forsaken him. She decided to put all her beliefs in him. She patiently says “yes” without doubt and confusion; she obediently carries the baby for the salvation of human kind.

The priest, intricately explain the value of having deep faith in our dear Lord. That any sad eventful days of your life will be no compared of the love he gave to us. That every trial, challenges, problems and frustrations that you felt will turn out to be the best way to be know and be close to him. That no matter what happen, he promises that he would never leave or forsaken you.

The sermon became so interesting; when he elaborately tells about the plan of our dear Lord. That man always makes plan to their future. That no matter how lucid the future it seems to be and whenever a goal or dreams does not comply with the original schedule. There always be his will. Sometime we enormously feel a great fear and coward like actions within ourselves. We end up being stagnant and scared of risking every decision because we are totally not giving up to him. We seldom believe, that the only way to survived in this world is to completely trust in him…..that’s the way it should be and that the only way to truly be close to him.

I felt relieved; but, as I write this I was able to understand slowly; its day 3, after, me and my sister bought a “puto bong bong and lugaw and ate it after the mass at home. Well, I’m glad we did some bonding in simbang gabi.
Miraculously, one miracle happen, a text came by at night; MIAA wants me back. I have my OJT again. I hope and I believe that our dear Lord will bless and guide me. As I worked towards the same premises who broke my heart. May it healed as I go back and worked again. May he guide us all with his love, comfort and understanding…see yah the next morning…

GOD IS GOOD AND LOVING, WE JUST NEED TO BE AWARE OF HIS CALL AND TO OUR CELESTIAL SURROUNDINGS BECAUSE HIS HERE AND EVEN THE LITTLE THING WE SEE, HIS ALL AROUND US!!!!

THANK YOU , PAPA GOD FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME!!!PRAISE AND GLORY TO YOU OH LORD!

9 MORNINGS:EMBRACING IMPERFECTIONS, FORGIVENESS OF SELF AND OTHERS

I almost run into seat. Obviously, I was late and I should be there at the church at 3:30 a.m. but luckily I arrived at 3:50a.m. There’s still goodness, in his heart because no matter how bad my actions can be, he still, have the heart to forgive me. I don’t know what happen; but, I believe the gospel works and it really encapsulated my whole being. Each words dictates being a true human filled with dysfunctional attitudes or imperfections without it you can never say you are truly his creation.

When we learn to accept that there are things we couldn’t change that there are attitudes that needs to replenish in order to forgive one self. When, we embrace our unique behaviours and realized our own mistakes and failures only then we could achieve true happiness. Also, we need to know our weaknesses so we could move forward and to evaluate things which make our life so chaoticly molded with sins.

Eventually, the mass go smoothly even it rain so hard before the mass begins. I happily remembered all the sermons that in order to achieve real joy this Christmas is to accept that we have sinned, we are not perfect. We are created to stand all the storms if we will hold on to our Savior. If, we learn to ask forgiveness to our dear Lord, our own self and our fellow men.

I prayed on that morning that I may be able to forgive myself for all the wrong decisions, strategies and failures that I have this past few years. To accept that all the wasted years I spent working in an establishment wherein; dedication and commitment are not well established. That I may embrace all the good and bad memories it brings, all the heartaches and pain of a dream and love that does not come on my way. To develop a strong faith in him, to get to know; our creator and to love him more with all my heart, mind and soul.

Thy forgives reign in one’s heart to be able to achieve true happiness in this lifetime.

9 MORNINGS: A SINGLE’S WISH FOR A “SIMBANG GABI”

Date: December 16, 2011

9 MORNINGS: A SINGLE’S WISH FOR A “SIMBANG GABI”

BY: seraphimblue

DAY 1:
I was awaken not my own cell phone clock but I was alarmed by my instinct or by my psychological body clock that I need to attend the church tradition of what we called “SIMBANG GABI” at 4 a.m. As I hurriedly prepare myself so I could sit at the front row of the bench so I could see the priest and all the decorations all over the surroundings. I was excited, not because it’s been the tradition and during the times I worked at the airport; I ordinarily missed the opportunity to complete it because of my bizarre 24 hours work at the medical division. But, I wanted to attend the mass even I’m alone, single and cold. I still, feel the warmth of embrace of our dear Lord. You know why, someone woke me up, someone told me that I need to get up in my bed to start my novena and my sacrifice for this coming Christmas day.
Few are chosen to have that special someone to be with them at “Simbang Gabi”. Maybe, some still, at the courting stage that usually happens outside the church or rather some first time meet up’s that resulted in a long and loving relationship. Some could be walking along the streets looking at the colourful lights of “parol” decorations at the post or some staring at the flickering stars above the clouds. Yes, even the blue moon stares at you and smiling. You are not alone. As you, navigate and smell the sweet aroma of “puto bong bong and bibingka”. That you will selectively buy after the mass behind the thought bubbles of your head. Indeed, that’s what I’m thinking and I’ll buy those delicious foods and eat it for my breakfast.
The cold and dark morning doesn’t stop me from getting into the mass. As I walked and get a tricycle so I could sit in front and as I listen to the sermon. Yes, I arrived at exactly 3:30 am. Actually, the church is already flooding with people. I almost lost my seat at the front row. But, luckily, I was seated with electric fan near me.
I may be single and I believe there are alike me, nowadays. Rather, we choose to be and it doesn’t make any hindrance to be with our dear creator. Even, we agree that is much joy having a loving partner beside us during this wonderful morning. I guess, this is the way it is and we could never change it. Yes, for the mean time, temporarily available.
Time surpass so quickly, I managed to cling, understand and kept the wisdom that our parish priest imparted to me. As I carry the lesson, in able to have a deeper relationship with our dear Lord, we need to invest time. If, we wanted get to know him more. We must devote ourselves in praying. He said, we need to pray in all aspect of our lives so we could learn to love him more. But, that’s not all. We need some actions and we need to have that kind of compassion for others. To act generously not because it’s the right thing to do but it’s the way we get closer to him. So, I decided that after the “Simbang Gabi”. I’ll write every little thing that I will encounter during my 9 mornings. All the sermons and simple things, maybe, in the end; miracles do happen. Yet, Singleness could be so lonely and frustrating. You decide what you want and you deal with all circumstances that come your way and now, you walked alone at “Simbang Gabi” while, others have their loved one’s and crush beside them. Well, amazingly, you will surpass it. We will both complete the 9 mornings, even, I’m starting a new life and I pray for a bright, exciting and magical future next year. Bear in mind, sacrifices are made to find true happiness. So, let me explicitly say, smile even you are “SINGLE” because it’s a gift. Life will turn around. See it and believe. However, I need to ask a big question, why are you attending the 9 morning mass? You knew the answer, I know, what you are thinking. I also wish that. So, follow my journey of 9 mornings; let’s see if it truly works.

I LOVE YOU, GOODBYE

I LOVE YOU, GOODBYE
12-10-11

It ended with mountable of tears, the revelation that all your emotions that you kept and all the longing of great love quickly disappears because he died and all your hopes faded like a star. That he won’t fulfil all your dreams anymore. Both wishes, of happily ever after will be thrown away. Until, a tragic fate comes without knowing that permanently his gone into your life. It’s like you submerged in a black, dark ocean blinded. That deep inside your soul, your spirits subsides and your body is numb. That you can’t feel anything, slowly your teardrops fall and you can’t breathe. You can feel your heart like a scattered glass thrown in a wall.

I believe that’s what I felt upon watching the movie at cinema one, the grief, hope, envy and unconditional love reflecting on each character they portray. A grief that elicits a profound loss and longing of love that forever be a sweet memory to remember. To hope a fruitful finale that shares joy for a lifetime. A man’s envy that battles between true love and great love. The shadow casting of tremendous love overpowering the soul of each audience capturing one’s emotion and the reality of commitment and sacrifice to show the real meaning of LOVE.

I pour such thundering emotions, as I wept my tears up. I cried not because I wanted to feel the acceptance of letting the one you love go. Not because you want to see him/her happy or you want him/her to fulfil his/her dreams. But, I dwell my heart on that scene to let go of all the pains that love makes me feel during all the years had gone by. To cry and be brave, to be hopeful and to dream again that even you loss the one you love, by accident, fate, your mistake or either your own decisions. You need to be strong that any scar will be healed, that anytime the wound will close naturally. That by saying “goodbye” is not the end, but, a new beginning to explore new horizons. To know the real you, to search for new skills and talents that is within u that u kept for a long time. To forgive all the resentments, frustrations and disappointments other causes you to feel empty and lonely.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. You can never plan ahead, no matter how much you want the day to be perfect. As you stare, people around you does not look the same way you see life. Maybe, if one terminates you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t agree with your capabilities. However, it’s an eye opener into your soul; that let you choose and decide what path you should cross, either you let the stream flowing with positive currents or be stagnant like a soft, brown soil waiting for a lily to grow.

Letting someone go, losing the one that you love most either it’s a person, work, career or family; the most important thing you should remember is to write down the things you’ve learned. Even, how kind you are, how generous you will be and how genuine your friendship or love it may be. All things our temporarily made, memories will stay, the good and bad times will be lingered. But, as dark clouds occluded your visions, the sun still shines so bright, a new dawn will ordinarily comes….

So, loving and having that kind of devotion and commitment will be intact, within your spirit and soul. The immensity of love you put up will always be there in your heart no matter what. You create a wondrous feeling that no one can replace. When, you feel that you can’t fight the pain anymore and you stopped wishing for true love. You pause for a while, look at the dark clouds above you, stare at them for a few minutes until you see a miniscule of light, scintillating with brilliance, even a tiny diamond light matter; suddenly, appear on your sight because no matter how lonely you might be, there will always be a flickering star waiting for you. As you let him be the guide to continue to believe that true love still exists……. Old goodbyes are gone; new beginnings will say hello….

Love speaks if meant to be or not?

When all was left with you are tears
When you regret to show
How much you love a person
All you need, is to clinged into something
That true love still comes on your way
But, what if you already lost him
He/she will never come back
Coz she/he belongs to someone else
Coz u never give him a chance
You never let love to blossom
Because of Pride you never fight for him
Life is made up of regrets, wrong turns and decisions
Some may complete his path with joy
But,some losses their way and end up empty inside
Rather, no one knows
You can't quantify the pain it gives
You could only pray that time runs fast
And rainy days will be over
so, when the storm closes its eye
You will still submerged bravely and triumphantly
Sometimes, you choose your own way
You choose the wrong person
Because within your soul
Your still longing for your one true love
That you let him slip,long time ago.....
Then, you will realized
How joyful is to be inloved
To be free and be simply filled with esctasy
When, one day your Love still aches
Just continue to grief and learn to accept that Love fades
And that love comes and goes
You can only have it, iF its meant to be
When destiny speaks
Even, in the aisle of Love
It will reappear in your way
You'll know the sign.....
And happinness will dwell into your spirit.......

A pucca that blinks sees only one pure heart of gold

Whenever, I see our baby angel, AC aka alessandria cassiel. I see a miniature live pucca in action. Maybe, because of her hair, eyes, actions and the way she dress has a high resemblance of that cute little famous red character named "pucca". What characteristic of pucca has,that stands most of all cuddly famous cartoon figure in the World? I believe it is in her heart. The way she touched her friends and the way she shared her emotions and humility to her loved ones...Her simplicity in wearing a red dress that symbolizes courage, uniqueness, valor and love that springs like a fountain filled with life and continuity.
When, I stare my few collections of pucca figurine and stuffs. I can't resist to imagine being her. Her vibrant attitude that delightedly uplifts one lonely soul. Her chinese little two lined eye that makes me dream of life with serenity and peacefulness of heart, mind and soul. Like each one of us, there's a child within, little hidden anime or cartoon charcter that molds who we are. Attitudes and values that lingers within us. Yes, indeed; I compared my cute little niece with pucca because her innocence, timidity, playfullness and child intelligence are much alike of pucca's mind and heart. Simply, ac has a heart of gold that even our father in heaven loves because like a child she doesn't have any boundaries to show her joy and madness. A pucca-like action that is admirable, honorable and simply lovable that I wished will stay the same as the years goes by....

A Love Lost

When, you finally settled with the idea that you will truly love the person. That your commitment will be sealed with love, respect and trust. Then, you suddenly wake up. Everything you dreamed of; came into dust.

When, you thought that everything is fine and that each moment when your with him feels right. As you turn around, you see your own shadow, standing alone in the dark.When,loneliness and despair strikes me for the fifth time. My body just lay on the floor, too weak to stand, too sad to drink, too hopeless to feel the sunlight.I just wanna cuddle my pillow and hug my blanket so tight. Cried all day and night,weeping with tears, if my decision is right. Did I failed to let him know how much I loved him or too arrogant to express all his mistakes.

Misery overflows my system. It emanates my body that weakens, illness takes place. Coldness of the skin, pain in my chest,watery & boggy eyes and cramping legs occurs at the same time. I wish, I'll stay in my bed. To somber the pain I have.

Bo Sanchez speaks to his books "Finding one True Love" That you cannot give on what you don't have. That you are the one attracts people in your life. You have to choose whether you want them to be part of you or not.I guess, he is right.I have never really choose well, mostly, I just simply Love without really thinking very hard.

I had read a message from my phone, and it states; "I don't believe in the word REGRET.....but, I do believe in the phrase,I screwed up and I learned from it"

I only wish, the pain will go away. I apologized to all the people,I've hurt in the past. If I've didn't give all my love. If I have not been the ideal girl before. If my expectations are so high to reach. Forgive me...

Now, a new chapter begins. New me, New Life,...but, Love will soon come. I'll wait for the right time ,until I've really known to show the real meaning of it.

Yes,I'm asking him to love me back wholeheartedly. but, He can't give. Sadly,I'm just a second priority to him. That's why I've decided to stop, until my heart tells me that I still loved him. It hurts but I have to let him go.

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New Baby AC: A Miracle Labor

Last, May 21, 2009 at 4:43am, My sister gave birth to a healthy cute & sweet little girl. However, my mom first saw the little Angel, with little blood on the nursery room near the Operating Room, while, the Nurse is cleaning up the child.. Her name is Alessandria Cassiel Regino Tugade, she was the baby girl of my youngest sister Ma. Donna. The labor is quite difficult. The event was so intense and so tiring but the result is quite touching and overwhelming. We went to the Hospital on May 20, 2009 at 1:30 pm in the afternoon. I can't believe that my sister is carrying her child for 10 months. Yes, indeed, it's quite overdue for the baby in her womb that is why we decided to go and let the baby be delivered on the exact Ultra Sound date at May 20, 2009.

I can sense into my nerves how nervous my mom is. How she felt the pain that my sister will be encountering such labor pain for a normal delivery.

But, it's not easy. She was admitted at 2pm, then, we came into the a small room with only small electric fan hanging on the wall because there are no available air conditioned room at those time. So,we bear the burden and heat of the summer. But, it's fine with us as long as my sister delivered the baby well.

Donna left us at 8:00 pm for her to be induced. As, the Medical Doctor do some Initial Evaluation to check how many centimeter the pelvis inlet had open. But, sadly, it's just 2cm wide, not enough for a baby to be fit because it should be 9cm.
My Mom and I visited her at the Labor Room, the nurses are all taking good care of her and monitoring all the vital signs of the baby and my sister. Even, she's so thirsty, she patiently prayed and take the moment as it is for the baby to be perfectly healthy.

However, we are left in the small room. Sweating so hard, while, we sleep and rest for a while. My mom continue to worried and even argue if my sister and the child is doing fine the whole evening. As we asked the nursing station, if both of them are safe. With the Lord's guidance, they are both well and sleeping soundly.

On the following morning, we checked my sister's upstairs. Sadly, the pelvis had just open up for 1 cm only. That is why my mom is so worried and afraid for the child and her daughter that they might be weak because of long hours of labor. No response had taken. Until, my mom decided that she needs to talked to her Obstetrician, her Doctor that she need to deliver the baby before 8pm that night or else. We can never tell what will happen. We need to prevent some terrible things to happen because my mom had the same scenario when she was pregnant with my sister Donna.

So, the Lady Doctor, decided to do some x-ray for the pelvic inlet, if they will continue to be in normal delivery or Cesarian. But, my mom became so anxious because our money is not enough to pay the bills because we knew that my sister is on normal delivery. Then, the result came, the pelvic inlet is too small for the baby and if the doctor will force it, her uterus will explode. So, the Doctor told us that it is need to be operated for cesarian. Even, our budget is too short. Our dear Father in Heaven gave us blessings and grace. He use some people to help us. My Aunt who came from Hawaii send some money to help us and I called my Uncle who is Attorney to help us too and he agreed so the following day before we discharged with the Angels guiding us. We paid the bills and the remaining balance will be paid to other people who lend us some for my sister's pregnancy.

I believe that if we prayed within our hearts. Our Father Almighty will guide and comfort us. With all our adversity and troubles, He never abandon us. He loves us so much that he will not forsaken us. We just need to ask and knock because his ears are ready to listen and his heart are wide open to embrace us. His unconditional love and grace surrounds us always.

At present, I have taken the new role of an Aunt to my pretty cute niece named AC. As I embraced, kissed, cradle and feed her. I want her to feel how much I love her and her Mom. She might not have a father but my love and support will never changed because I simply love her unconditionally. Our house had brighten up, a new love and hope surrounds us all, with love and faith in our Savior, dear Lord. As, I thank him for making them safe and healthy. May the Good Lord guide us always. May Mama Mary and all my saints pray for us always. May our Angels watches and comforts us.

I thank thee with all my heart and strong faith in God reign forever....

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Angel Number Sequence

Angels are divine spirits who cares and watches over our adversities and our loneliness. They cheer up in mystrerious ways. Be touched and feel their wings embracing you. Here’s a list of Angel Number for you to read. Reflect and realized that once in your life, You have been touched by an Angel:

Number Sequences From The Angels
by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

The angels do their best to get our attention and to communicate with us. In this way, they help us heal our own lives. However, we often discount the signs they give us, writing them off as mere coincidences or our imagination. The angels say: “We can’t write our messages to you in the sky. You’ve got to pay attention and believe when you see any patterns forming in your life — especially in response to any questions or prayers you’ve posed. When you hear the same song repeatedly or see the same number sequence, who do you think is behind this? Your angels, of course!”

Your angels often communicate messages to you by showing you sequences of numbers. They do this in two ways. First, they subtly whisper in your ear so you’ll look up in time to notice the clock’s time or a phone number on a billboard. The angels hope you’ll be aware that you’re seeing this same number sequence repeatedly. For instance, you may frequently see the number sequence 111, and it seems every time you look at a clock the time reads 1:11 or 11:11.

The second way in which angels show you meaningful number sequences is by physically arranging for, say, a car to drive in front of you that has a specific license plate number they want you to see. Those who are aware of this phenomenon become adept at reading the meaning of various license plates. In this way, the angels will actually give you detailed messages. Here are the basic meanings of various number sequences. However, your own angels will tell you if your situation holds a different meaning for you. Ask your angels, “What are you trying to tell me?” and they’ll happily give you additional information to help decode their numeric meanings.

111 — Monitor your thoughts carefully, and be sure to only think about what you want, not what you don’t want. This sequence is a sign that there is a gate of opportunity opening up, and your thoughts are manifesting into form at record speeds. The 111 is like the bright light of a flash bulb. It means the universe has just taken a snapshot of your thoughts and is manifesting them into form. Are you pleased with what thoughts the universe has captured? If not, correct your thoughts (ask your angels to help you with this if you have difficulty controlling or monitoring your thoughts).

222 — Our newly planted ideas are beginning to grow into reality. Keep watering and nurturing them, and soon they will push through the soil so you can see evidence of your manifestation. In other words, don’t quit five minutes before the miracle. Your manifestation is soon going to be evident to you, so keep up the good work! Keep holding positive thoughts, keep affirming, and continue visualizing.

333 — The Ascended Masters are near you, desiring you to know that you have their help, love, and companionship. Call upon the Ascended Masters often, especially when you see the number 3 patterns around you. Some of the more famous Ascended Masters include: Jesus, Moses, Mary, Quan Yin, and Yogananda.

444 — The angels are surrounding you now, reassuring you of their love and help. Don’t worry because the angels’ help is nearby.

555 — Buckle your seatbelts. A major life change is upon you. This change should not be viewed as being "positive" or "negative," since all change is but a natural part of life’s flow. Perhaps this change is an answer to your prayers, so continue seeing and feeling yourself being at peace.

666 — Your thoughts are out of balance right now, focused too much on the material world. This number sequence asks you to balance your thoughts between heaven and earth. Like the famous "Sermon on the Mount," the angels ask you to focus on spirit and service, and know your material and emotional needs will automatically be met as a result.

777 — The angels applaud you…congratulations, you’re on a roll! Keep up the good work and know your wish is coming true. This is an extremely positive sign and means you should also expect more miracles to occur.

888 — A phase of your life is about to end, and this is a sign to give you forewarning to prepare. This number sequence may mean you are winding up an emotional career, or relationship phase. It also means there is light at the end of the tunnel. In addition, it means, “The crops are ripe. Don’t wait to pick and enjoy them.” In other words, don’t procrastinate making your move or enjoying fruits of your labor.

999 — Completion. This is the end of a big phase in your personal or global life. Also, it is a message to lightworkers involved in Earth healing and means, "Get to work because Mother Earth needs you right now."

000 — A reminder you are one with God, and to feel the presence of your Creator’s love within you. Also, it is a sign that a situation has gone full circle.

In Light Times... A Metaphysical, Spiritual, Holistic Publication
Copyright © 1998,1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 - In Light Times - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
November, 1999 www.inlightimes.com
http://www.inlightimes.com/archives/1999/11/number.htm

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A Bear of Hugs

Love makes the world go round, some people says that. I guess, they are right. I have experienced a couple of times to fall in love. I've been hurt a lot of times but still I have taken the risk to love again. Today, our first Monthsary with Ray, i went to meet him in the mall. I was surprised seeing a Bear Cudler paper bag probably its a gift for our monthsary celebration. How sweet he remembered me! We bought a cake to celebrate it with my family even though they don't know. I was so happy seeing his eyes twinkling. The way he embraced me showing how much he loves me.

I hope this day will never end. I can hear my heart voices out how much I love this Guy. He also had written a love letter that for the first time in his entire life, he lovingly written a letter to the girl she love most and it was so sweet and loving.

I open the paper bag, then, a white bear stuff toy with a pink pillow with words written I love you was appeared in the scenario. I told him, what's the name of the bear so he said, "BEAR BRAND". Then, we laughed. While, I softly open the card and read it. My heart feels so in love. He smiled at me and I embraced him tightly saying the 3 wonderful words, "I LOVE YOU".

We watched Way back into Love and 27th Dresses while eating dinner. I can see the glimpse of his eyes how much he truly love me and appreciated the time we spent together in my own home at our first monthsary. We might not dine at a fabulous restaurant or watch an exciting movie premiere but the time and love we shared this afternoon is quite a lifetime memory of happiness and love that I'll treasure for my whole life.

A Bear of Hugs given to my one and only love....Ray..

Angel Eyes Song- A Depression Stopper

At March 25, 2009,(Wednesday), I wake up early to avoid traffic, with only 4 hours sleep because I have reformatted the PC last evening so my sister could use it while I'm gone from work. Indeed, I was successful but depressed and tired from Friday to Tuesday Job application and interviews. I have flanked the final interview at Teletech Bacoor last Tueday, even if I was terribly afraid of the stiff open air space stairs of the mall, I managed to bring my Mother, my best friend's daughter and even my new boyfriend just to accompany me to climb the fearful flight of steps on that 3day Exams.

I'm sad and frustrated on that said day. I'm thankful that I learned my weaknesses but I lose my confidence to find a new job and it lowers my self-esteem to know what I like most in life and things that interest me best. My body is too weaken, my eyes are too sleepy and my heart beat trembling so fast but my mind still works and thinking of the failures that blinded my whole integrity and pride.

Then, PC started to malfunction . I guess, some wants me to take a rest and I did. After, I wake up. I watched the new episode of Zorro while , a blast of thought came. What If I reformatted the computer then I continue working it. At at the strike of 1:30am, the computer is fully conditioned and the Internet start to work. Thank you to my Angels, they clear my minds.

On the above date I mentioned, a two consecutive songs on the radio flashes a words like "An Angel eyes" in the lyrics and the other one song has a lyrics of Angels too. I guess, they are really cheering me up for a toxic day ahead of me. As I rushed in my room, to dress up my scrub suit , a song echoes in the radio, "try if you do not succeed" try try try again...What does it mean? Is there a message conveying in the air, a message of hope , comfort and love.

I believe, on that wonderful day. My Angels just wanted to tell me not to lose hope. There is a gift for me. Yet to be open, if I'll be patiently waits.